How to Get a Girlfriend Without Really Trying
by Jinx5647
Summary: A certain secretary has her eyes on a certain nephew of a certain boss. And she wants to take this tycoon for all he's worth.
1. Chapter 1

_He was riding on a horse. A white one of course. With a saddle studded with diamonds. The future president of the company only deserved the best, after all. And sitting right behind him, holding onto him tightly, was the girl of his dreams. He turned around to look at her for just a second, before crashing his horse into a tree. _

_All he could hear was her screaming._

_"Bud! Bud! BUD!"_

"Bud! BUD!"

He jerked his eyes open. There was no horse, and the girl wasn't there. All there were was a mail cart that Bud had tried to catch some shut-eye in, and his boss, Mr. Twimble calling his name. Damn it.

He sat up, stretched and polished his glasses.

"I'm awake, Mr. Twimble."

"What the hell are you sleeping for? You may be Biggley's nephew, but this isn't your house, boy. Understand me? Now get up before I fire you."

"You can't fire me, I'm the boss' nephew." Frump automatically used his usual line.

"And I don't care. Now, there's a new guy coming in, and I want you to meet him."

Frump got one look at the new guy and groaned. This guy was a headache ready to happen.

Stupid face.

Charming smile.

Beaming with charisma.

Yay.


	2. Chapter 2

He couldn't believe it.

Finch had turned down the job!

That meant that he, Bud Frump, was head of the mailroom!

Before Twimble officially announced the promotion, Bud pulled him aside and asked,

"Hey, Mr. Twimble?"

"Yes?"

"Does this mean I get my own secretary?"

"...I suppose so. I didn't really bother with it, but I suppose that you might need some he-"

"Thanks Mr. Twimble!"

And he was off in a flash to go see his uncle.

* * *

"Uncle Jasper, I need a secretary."

"And...?"

"Can I pick my secretary?"

"No."

"But-

"No!"

"PLEASE! For family's sake?"

Biggley considered this. Promoting the boy to a high position would destroy the company. But letting him choose his own secretary...

Well, what was the harm?

"Fine."

"Oh thank you, Uncle Jasper, I swear I'll never bother you ever-"

"Well you can start right now. Get the hell out of my office!"

* * *

There she was, sitting at a desk, next to all the other secretaries. But she stood out the way a diamond stood out from a pile of coal. He'd been watching her for a long time.

Her wavy, chocolate brown hair was tied in a high ponytail, with one strand curled, playfully hanging next to her face.

Her pale, smooth, slender hands moved expertly around the typewriter, her long, red nails tapping the rhythm to the song in Bud's heart.

Her jade green eyes, with the blue eye shadow and night-black eyeliner, glinted mischievously behind her glasses.

Her blood red lips were pursed in a cynical smile that showed off her perfect, white teeth

Her blue dress clung to her perfectly, accenting her best features, showing just enough, but not too much skin.

God, how he wanted to undo the zipper on the back of it.

He composed himself and went over to her desk.

* * *

"Sophia?"

"Its Miss Reilly, Mr. Frump. This is a business."

Her voice like a viola, high, sweet and melodic.

"Forgive me, but I'd like you to be my secretary."

She gave him a confused look. "What?"

"Wouldn't you like to work for the boss' nephew?"

She looked him over. He didn't look too smart.

He'd be the perfect guy for her plan.

She smiled.

"Sure thing... _Bud_."


	3. Chapter 3

How come Finch got to be a junior executive?

It wasn't fair!

Finch didn't have an influential uncle!

He was just finishing ranting to Sophia, "And one day when I head this company, I'll see to it that Finch will never get a job again! Never!"

She smirked, "That seems realistic."

"Its not realistic,Sophia. Its the inevitable!"

He was glad to have such a supportive secretary!

He started pacing back and forth through his office.

"All I need is a way to get a promotion. I've got to get out of the mailroom! I think I might lose my mind if I stay here much longer!"

_What mind?_Sophia thought. What she really said was, "But you've only been in here for three months."

"Even so, this is driving me crazy! And I know Uncle Jasper will never in a million years give me a promotion!" He collapsed into a chair and held his head in his hands.

_Wait a minute...Uncle Jasper!_

Sophia got up and tapped Bud on the shoulder. He looked up at her, annoyed. "Sophia, can't you see that I'm miserable?"

"Oh get a grip! Anyway, I think I know a way for you to get that promotion."

"Really?" Bud got up and took out a pencil and paper.

She looked at him in disgust. "Put that away! It's not that complicated!"

"What if I forget?"

"What if Finch finds the paper, you moron!"

"Fine." He put away the paper. "What is it?"

"Spy on your uncle."

"Why? I'm not exactly that stealthy. And what good is it going to be anyway? I'm already his nephew!"

She sat down next to him, and put one of her painted fingernails gently onto his hand.

"Have you ever heard of blackmail, Bud?"


End file.
